(hope)

Recently, I was disappointed.

I thought something was going to be the answer to all of my problems. Turns out, it wasn't.

It's hard to struggle while watching others succeed. It's hard to bear financial burdens when others seem to have plenty. It's devastating to want for all your heart to provide resources for your children that you think they need and you just can't.

The cost is too high.

I must confess, I am sick of this phrase. I feel like this has been my mantra for two years.

But here we are, here we live. If life is grace and God is sovereign, then this is best.

I wish it felt best or looked best, but I guess that is what faith is all about.

I was disappointed because I put my faith in the wrong place.

My faith, my hope, does not belong in my own abilities or strengths or location or special school or tutors or therapy or the next book or homeschool or even my husband.

My hope is in the Lord.

Tonight, Forrest Gump came on television. Interesting timing. My husband and I watched as this man who most people would have considered mentally challenged led an extraordinary life.

My son could do that. My son could have an extraordinary life.

Or maybe he's living it right now and I am too caught up in my own emotional turmoil and other people's expectations to realize it.

(ouch.)

Romans 10:11 For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on Him shall not be ashamed.