(mess)

I am a mess.

Yes, my name is Kim, and I am a mess.

Nice to meet you.

My marriage is not perfect, mostly because of my selfishness, prideful desire for control, and propensity to panic as my default.

My children are not perfect, mostly because they both take after me.

I am in a constant struggle with money, church planting, credibility in our community, finding friends, health (otherwise known as weight, fitness and intentional eating), the correct balance of influence and release with our teenage children.

I do not have patience with bad drivers or rude people. I often address both of these in my mind in an ungodly way.

I feel jealous of other people's Facebook posts that are cheesy and cheerful. And sometimes nauseous. I am also jealous of Ann Voskamp whose blog is sheer poetry (seriously, just stop reading and go to www.aholyexperience.com/) and another author, Jen Hatmaker, who just published her ninth book in her thirties.

I hate cleaning the house. Hate it. And I'm frustrated when I actually do clean because the house becomes trashed in less than twenty-four hours.

I have a Chihuahua puppy that I have been unsuccessful to pottytrain, even though I take him outside every two hours. And now my other dog hates me from bringing a puppy in the house and he will no longer give me kisses.

I need a job but I am unhireable because I have a B.S. in Psychology which qualifies me for....nothing. Not even retail. (I did enjoy college...)

I began two women's ministries and have taught the Bible extensively. Nobody wants to hear me anymore. I have written and published Christian music yet no one is interested in my music anymore. I homeschooled for fourteen years however no one is interested in my experience or wisdom about curriculums or schedules.

All this to say:

I AM AN EXPERT ON..................................NOTHING!!!

I am not here to tell anyone how they "should" live or answer every theological question or be an expert in relationships. The truth is that I am just a mess.

I need God. I need Him because I am such a mess that I will absolutely seek self-destruction at every turn. I will single-handedly destroy everything I touch. I will stumble and swear and scar.

But God will redeem. He will shine. He will triumph.

This is my story. The deal is that I don't have anything to say about anything. The only good thing about me is what has been transformed by Jesus Christ. The only reason I want to have a blog is to show the glory of God through my broken, messy life.

So, pardon my mess. I'll be back to brag on how God works in spite of me.

1 Corinthians 1:28-31 God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."