(brave)

While we sit at our celebratory dinner, I learn about bravery.

My little girl has finished her junior year. She has big plans, and fortunately, a big God who will fulfill His purpose through her.

We eat and share and laugh. Then she opens her mouth and teaches me how to be brave.

"Mom and Dad, could you please both tell me one encouraging thing about me from this year and one criticism?"

I gulp down a mouthful of fish taco and realize that my little girl is growing up fast. Possibly faster than me.

I cannot remember the last time I asked anyone to evaluate my life, speak truth to me, share an area that I need to examine further for sin. To be perfectly honest, I think I would just rather not hear it.

Life is hard enough. So many times I feel as if I do not receive enough encouragement. I need more courage to face the obstacles placed in the path of my existence and I look to others to grant courage in me, en-courage me, so that I can move forward. Criticism feels like it knocks me down and knocks me backwards. I am already hard on myself. Why ask for others to join in?

I blink back the tears and try to be honest with my daughter. After all, she asked. She receives, humbly, smiling, and I am ashamed.

I have blind spots, to be sure. I need the truth spoken into me just like I need the courage spoken into me. Others will see sin that I will explain away, rationalize, and dismiss. Some will even love me enough to reveal it. Because they know.

They know that deep relationship with God is better than appearances. Honest evaluation of my heart will reap honest living. I am broken, there is no denying it. I also have a Binder.

I smile at my daughter, now a senior. And realize that I am the one who is being homeschooled.