(writing)

So, today my husband sat me down and encouraged me to write. Not just write, but try to write everyday so that I can improve my chops in writing, trying to increase my creative instinct and be proactive.

Hmm.

See, I took a break from writing my blog because, frankly, Ann Voskamp covers everything pretty well and sounds beautiful doing it. I feel like I should just put a link to her blog on here and be done with it.

However, my husband is right. Eww. I actually wrote that. I will never hear the end of it now.

I am reminded of a quote by Henry Van Dyke, "Use what talents you possess: The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best."

I guess it's hard for artists, when we put ourselves out there, our very hearts. It's a vulnerable, soft place. Rejection stings all the more in raw places, places where we open our wounds and our dreams. The underbelly of our souls gets exposed. If somebody says "yuck," they are saying yuck to me, me personally, not just my lasagna or my house or my style. Me. Me and my little self.

So how to navigate this? As an artist, if I am not real and really me, I have an out, but then I will always wonder. If I hold back, what have I gained? Nothing. Love me or hate me, it has to be me, all out there. All or nothing.

But then, I have this great privilege. Because God has graced my life, found me and transformed my heart and become my Lord, I get to share all of the amazing ways He is working in me and my family. He receives all the glory from those blessings. I can point past myself to Him. And He becomes even more powerful because I am so very weak. I have earned the "yuck;" He has earned the praise.

The writing continues.